February 9, 2026

I called Mom first thing this morning to see how her weekend went. I was hoping to hear something positive—maybe there had been something mentioned in church to indicate that Dad might be given another chance.

But that was only wishful thinking.

Mom said when Dad’s name comes up in church, it’s only about how “evil” he is and how he supposedly brought the entire congregation down.

The same people who, for 17 years, praised his work in the church now can only talk about how bad he is.

I suggested that Dad just go back on Wednesday night—stand in front of everyone, tell them how much he wants to be part of the congregation, and express regret for whatever they believe he’s done wrong.

But Mom reminded me—you can’t just do that. And she’s right. I have too many memories from childhood of excommunicated members pleading for mercy, trying everything to make things right, only to be turned away. In this church, it doesn’t matter what you say or do. It comes down to one thing: whether those in power decide to let you back in.

See Figure A for a screenshot of this text exchange with Mom.

Later that afternoon, I called Mom again—just before the kids got home from school. More discouraging news.

Since Dad hasn’t been able to reach Gerald, he approached Randall when he saw him outside and tried to talk. But Randall wouldn’t hear him out. He shut the conversation down, repeating what others have been saying—that Dad is “evil”—and told him that Gerald is the person he should talk to.

See Figure B for a screenshot of this text exchange with Mom.

How is this real life? It feels like my parents are behind enemy lines, and there’s nothing I can do. I feel completely helpless.

Text exchange between Mom and Me